Sunday, May 17, 2009

you and i and the moon....

the night was dark and there were not a single star to be seen. i stared at the moon that was shining so brightly, so beautiful. it's wonderful how billions of people can look at the single moon. it must be something to be look upon many. the fact that every single people on the earth is actually looking at you are very something. it must be fun to be the attention of everyone...


i used to sit here by the window every night staring at the moon while talking to you. it's interesting that both you and i are actually staring at the same moon even when we are not at the same place. we made a promise that even if you were somewhere so far away, i can always glance at the moon knowing that you also are staring at the same moon. it was like the moon somehow made our relationship more valuable, more memorable...

i love you more than anything and better than everyone else, except for Mr Teddy that you gave me because he's the one who sleep with me every night. you were everything to me. you are always there when i needed you, always there to make me laugh when i feel all gloomy. always there when i needed to pour my tears and lend your shoulder to me. and you're always there when i'm very excited and listened to everything i wanted to tell.

i like it when you'll slipped some funny jokes or poems that you tried to write(that usually sound very stupid but honest) into my notebook. and then when i open my notebook during the lecture i'll laugh till my tears came out reading whatever that you wrote for me. and then some heads will turn around to see whether i'm still sane or not. not that i cared...

i also like it when you'll always wait for me by the door. and then as i walk out from the lecture room you'll surprisingly jumped in front of me and startled me. i'll scream a little and everyone will start to look at me again. you'll run away quickly knowing that i will run after you to take revenge..

in the evening we'll drive to the beach where we always hang out and matt, james, sara and jesse will be waiting for us. we'll hang out together and have fun while playing by the sea. we'll watch the sunset sometimes when we have nothing on schedule and continue with barbeque or fire camp once in a while. and i always hate it when i told you i want to get home dry i'll still always be wet in the end. because when we walk by the seaside you'll suddenly splashed some water at me and i'll splashed back at you and in the end, both of us ended in the sea.

i love our memories, and i'll always love you. i'll always remember you in your Levi's jeans, your black shirt that i gave you, your dazzlingly blue eyes that always stare into my eyes, your silky hair that i always mess it with my hand, your lips....

drops of tears suddenly came out from nowhere. i look at the moon again and i feel that pain again, that pain that stabbed my heart when you told me... when you told me it's over. what did ever happen that made you talk to me like that. i was still puzzled when suddenly a tall blonde girl came by your side and slipped her hand around your waist. she was beautiful, really, she was. but the pain i felt, oh god, it hurts....

that's it then. to me, all that sweet notes, the memories by the beach, the calls you made, the promise we bind...... it was all FAKE. nothing more simple than that. i began to think that each word you said to me was never true at all. and it hurts to think that i really love those moments. Sara and Jesse came to comfort me, they helped, but by night when i'm alone i'll start crying again, and shit why do i even cry.... i also heard that Matt and James went to talk to you but in the end you guys fight..

how could you do that? punching James  if you wanted to release your anger do it to me not them, not your best friend. or maybe now it's your ex-best friends. we use to hang out together, six of us. now there's only five. we don't talk about it but it feels...different. and just now this evening Sara suddenly said the moon was beautiful.  James joked that a werewolf will come out. and i laughed. none of them knows about you and i and the moon.

i stared at the moon again. thank for the memories, though. it was nice, but i don't want it anymore. please keep it for me and later, maybe, when i'm sitting by the window again i'll ask you to tell me the memories back. i can only ask you to keep it for me. and before i forget, i was about to throw away Mr Teddy to the beach last week when i saw a llitle girl. i gave him to her. i hope Mr Teddy won't get mad at me and be nice to the little girl. that's all. to the moon, you are always beautiful and thanks for shining so bright tonight....

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